


The Golden Year

by sweetsouthernsarcasm



Category: Fire Emblem Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-31 04:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20786876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsouthernsarcasm/pseuds/sweetsouthernsarcasm
Summary: Byleth and Claude decide to pull a senior prank; Rhea is pissed. The rest of the gang is just along for the ride. High school AU, based on a tumblr post. I tried to give it a "That 70's Show" vibe. Originally planned to be a oneshot, but I'll likely expand it some. Rated T for drug use. Enjoy!





	The Golden Year

“Shhhh,” Claude said, holding a finger to his lips as we snuck through the gap between the bushes and the wall of the school before facing forwards again.

“Why are you telling me to shush when you’re the one giggling?”

“You’re the one that can’t walk without making a ton of noise, that’s why.”

“It’s not my fault the pinestraw is loud.”

“Yes it is, Byleth,” he replied. I could practically hear his eyes rolling. “Otherwise I’d be making just as much noise as you.”

I huffed. “Whatever.”

With that, I started trying to lighten my steps. It helped some, but it cost me a bit of the speed I had going. I reached the door a few seconds after Claude, and set the keys into his outstretched hand. We both pulled our masks up, covering the lower half of our faces. He quickly got to work, figuring out which key belonged to this lock. I heard a “ha” of satisfaction, then the sound of a lock sliding out of place. He slowly pulled the keys out, carefully cracking the door open. Still crouching, he walked in, holding the door open for me. I crawled in carefully, making sure my bookbag didn’t get caught on the door. Once we were both in, he gently pulled the door closed and put the keys in his pocket. Standing up, we stuck to the shadowy parts of the hallway, stealthily heading to the counselors' offices.

“Ohhh, I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces,” he snickered.

“Ig being part of AV Club has never been such a blessing,” I whispered back. Why the AV Club had access to the security cameras, I don’t know, Ignatz never told us; but it was going to be a great way to help this senior prank stay with us forever, and keep us out of trouble.

“Who do you think will have the better reaction? Manuela, or Hanneman?” he asked.

“Hmmm. I think that Hanneman’s will be better. Manuela is always showing emotion; Hanneman usually keeps cool. So seeing him lose it will be great, I think.”

“Very good point. I can still see Manuela’s being better, though, simply because this is gonna be more to react to than usual.”

“You’re right, I didn’t take that into consideration honestly.”

Once we reached the offices, we went quite. He brought back out the keys (that we had snagged from the Security guard’s office), and I took off my backpack, unzipping it to reveal a variety of contents: shaving cream, silly string, astroglide, window chalk, and some bags of star-shaped confetti. The silly string and confetti were mainly for the mess we were going to make in the commons, where all the halls met, but we were definitely going to use some in the offices. I grabbed to of each item, handing one of each pair to Claude.

“You take Manuela’s office, I’ll take Hanneman’s,” I whispered. He nodded in reply, and we both got to work.

Gently shaking the bottle of shaving cream, I looked for an ideal place to put it. I found a few clear spots on his desk, and put little three-tiered globs in each one, sprinkling some confetti on top. Taking out the window chalk, I drew stick figures of Edelgard (basketball team captain), Dimitri (football team captain), and Claude (soccer team captain). I drew the classic diamond-shaped “S”, and (of course) a dick. (Because what kind of graffiti was complete without one?)

I took the can of silly string, aiming it towards the ceiling. Thankfully, some stuck, just as I hoped. I continued spraying, making sure to avoid objects that actually were important. Then, I took a business card from his stack, and brought out the astroglide. Starting at the back of his office and working my way forward, I carefully squirted some on the floor, then used the card to spread it out in a thin layer. Once I was done, I closed the door to the office and waited a few seconds as Claude finished lubing Manuela’s floor.

With the offices done, we crept to the commons. Since we had agreed to not put astroglide on the floor in the commons area, I brought out the rest of the shaving cream. I also brought out the rest of the confetti. We strategically placed the shaving cream, giving us room to walk while we continued our destruction. We threw the confetti everywhere, spreading it as much as possible. Taking the window chalk, we drew all over the glass fronts of the trophy cases built into the walls.

“Well, we still have lots of astroglide left. What do you want to do with it, since we don’t want to use it on any more floors?” I asked.

I couldn’t see his grin through his mask, but I could see the spark in his eyes. “Let’s go put it on all the door handles possible.”

“Are you sure? Won’t that be more work for Ig?”

“I’m sure. And nah, as long as we keep our heads down, it’s fine if the cameras see us. Also, I stored our plain hoodies in an empty locker, so we can go grab those, too.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Walking quickly, we kept our heads down and spread the lube on door handles as we passed them. Reaching the random locker, Claude pulled out our hoodies. I pulled mine on, letting the hood hang low on my face. Finally, we finished, having had enough astroglide to lube all the door handles in the school. We left through the door we had came in through, taking the same path back to Claude’s van, parked half a mile down the road in a secret spot we had found while walking together one day.

I texted the group chat. _The deed is done_

Thirty seconds later, I got a text back, from Ig. **What took so long?**

_We had lots of lube left over, so we spread it on the door handles_

_**Half surprised that you and Claude didn’t decide to keep it for yourselves**_, Hilda replied.

I heard Claude let out a snort, and watched as he typed out a quick message before returning his phone to his pocket and cranking up the car. Funny that you think we would even need it. If you and Lo wanted any all you had to do was ask.

_Stfu Claude_, Lorenz sent in reply.

_**LOL_

_**so what made you decide to put it on the door handles?_ Leonie asked

_Well, we didn’t want to put it on the hallway floors, so..._

**Nice last minute decision** Marianne replied

_ **On ALL the door handles??? How am i supposed to get to class without getting my hands icky?** _

_Wear gloves_

OR YOU COULD JUST NOT BE SO EARLY FOR ONCE, LYSITHEA

** _Yeah, what Raph said._ **

_ **Y’all can be insufferable sometimes** _

_ **Im the youngest but it seems like im also the most responsible** _

YOU PROBABLY ARE, Raphael replied.

BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BE IMMATURE TO HAVE FUN

“So, where to now?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Big surprise,” Claude scoffed playfully. “Where you wanna go?” he asked, backing out of our spot.

“Let’s go get some Sonic, I want some chilli-cheese fries.”

“Your wish is my command,” he replied, grinning.

Feeling my phone buzz, I picked it up. Do you two want me to erase the footage of y’all putting lube on the door handles?

Claude finished pulling into the parking spot and took his phone out of his pocket. Checking the messages, he sent one.

Nah, no need to. Our faces were fully covered by then, so it’d be hard to tell who it was.

**Alrighty**

Claude rolled down the window, pressing the red button. "You said chilli-cheese fries, right?" he asked over his shoulder.

I nodded in reply before taking the hoodie off. It was late spring and the nights were warm, so there was no need for it. I rolled down my window, letting the night air in. Claude rested his hand on my thigh, giving it a quick squeeze. “That was pretty fun,” I said.

“Oh yeah, it was. I think we had perfect handiwork in the commons. I wish I could have checked out Hanneman’s office, though. I’m sure you had an easier time than me; Manuela’s office was a total fucking mess, as usual.”

I snorted. “Did you not see my window drawings?”

“I did. Ig would be proud,” he grinned.

Our food and drinks arrived, and I scarfed down my food, barely giving it time to cool off. I took my time with my drink, though; they had the best fountain Coke. Yawning, I stretched, enjoying the way it made my muscles feel. “Tomorrow is going to be a better Friday than usual; I’m really looking forward to it,” I said.

“So am I. are you ready to head back? Do you want me to take you home, or do you want to spend the night with me?”

“I’ll spend the night with you.”

“Alright, to my place we go.”

The ride to his place was a peaceful one, with the wind blowing in through the open windows and moonroof. We snuck in through the back door, tiptoeing up the stairs. I made sure to avoid stepping on the stair the creaked, copying Claude’s movements. When we got to his room, he locked the door behind him. He rummaged through his drawers, then tossed me one of his shirts. Stripping down to just my underwear, I slipped on the shirt and climbed into his bed. Soon after, he climbed in as well.

“Good night, Byleth,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “And don’t push me off the bed, you cover hog.”

“G’night, Claude,” I yawned. “And no promises.”

The sound of music woke me up. Mind still fogged over from sleep, I had difficulties placing what I was hearing. I didn’t realize it was an alarm until I felt Claude roll over and hit the button to dismiss it. I sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered. “Let’s grab a shower; you can wear one of my shirts today since you don’t have a clean one to wear here.”

“Alright. And thanks, love.”

I stretched, then hopped out of bed and followed him to the bathroom attached to his room. We took a quick shower, and I relished the feeling of the hot water pouring over me. After drying off, I rummaged through his clothes, choosing a golden one with a deer emblazoned on it. I grabbed a pair of undies and shorts that I had left here, trying to remember why I had no shirts here. I could be scatterbrained at times, so that likely had something to do with it. I put on my lace tights before pulling on my pair of jean shorts. I picked up my Converse and we headed down to his van. Once there, I slid on my shoes and asked Claude what he wanted for breakfast.

“How’s Burger King sound?”

“Fuck yeah. French toast sticks sound hella rad right now.”

“Bruh, we haven’t even smoked yet and you’re acting like that?”

“It’s morning time, I’m always past hungry and all the way to hangry by now. I’ll text the others and see if they want anything.”

“If you say, darling,” he replied.

_ Me and Cladue are getting some BK for breakfast, y’all want any? _

** _Hella yeah. Get me some of those baby cinnamon rolls_ **

**Can you grab me a chicken biscuit?**

_ I want a sausage biscuit pls _

** _Some cinnamon rolls and some french toast sticks_ **

“It’s looking like everyone wants something, so let’s just get like two of everything,” I said, opening his glovebox and pulling out the money bag. I can’t remember who exactly came up with the idea, but it was a great one. We all pooled some money together, and put it in a few different bags. Then, we put each bag in the glovebox of everyone that had a vehicle, specifically for situations like this. I sat the bag in my lap, then sent out another text.

We’re just gonna get some of everything. What do y’all want for a drink?

** _ Dr. pepper _ **

** _Coke_ **

_ Also coke _

**Sweet tea pls**

**Orange juice**

I WANT ORANGE JUICE TOO

_ **i guess i’ll have an OJ too _

Just as I got Raphael’s text, we pulled up to the drive through. Claude ordered pretty much the entire breakfast menu, and repeated the drinks I listed out to him. When we got the total, I pulled out most of the needed amount as Claude pulled the rest out of his wallet. I handed the money to him, stuffing the bag back into the glovebox and getting ready to collect all the food and drinks.

“Tell them to meet us at The Canopy.”

“Okay.”

_Meet us at The Canopy_

“The Canopy” was a spot that Claude and I had discovered one day while driving around. It was just off the road, and the road itself had little to no traffic. It was big enough to hide Claude’s VW van, so it was the perfect place to park for any number of various activities. Today, right now, it was gonna be a wake ‘n bake meeting. We finally pulled in, the others were there and we could see them cheer. Claude put the van in park, and we got out, handing out the food and drinks. Hilda directed everyone to place it on the large tree stump, and we all sat around it.

We dug through the bags, searching for what we wanted. Once that was settled, Hilda quickly and neatly packed a bowl, while Lo pulled a lighter out. Taking a hit, she passed it to her left, and we continued passing it until there was nothing left. I hurriedly opened my syrup packets, dipping the french toast into one.

“So,” Lysithea started, mouth full. She swallowed, then continued, “When will we get to see the tapes? Or whatever it’s recorded on.”

“It’s on tapes, but I transferred the footage to some blank DVDs before erasing it from the tapes. The DVDs are in my bookbag right now, but we should wait until later today to watch them,” Ig replied.

“Why is this juice so good?” Leonie asked. “Oh, and when today dou y’all want to watch the footage?”

“Well, I have the biggest TV, so we could all gather at my place,” Hilda replied.

“Sure, as long as your brother won’t snitch,” Claude replied.

“You know he won’t,” she shot back. “He caught us smoking once and he didn’t say shit about it, do you really think he’d tattle to our principal because of some vandalism?”

“God, that was embarrassing,” Lo said.

“Maybe for you,” I shrugged. “I didn’t mind.”

“Yes, but you’re good at reading people, so you probably already knew he wouldn’t say anything,” Marianne said. “Also, I think going to Hilda’s would be a good idea.”

“Alright then, Hilda’s place it is!” Raphael boomed.

“Shhhh, not too loud, Raph,” Lysithea said.

“Oh, oops,” he said, whispering this time.

“You can speak a bit louder than that,” she rolled her eyes. “Just don’t yell.”

“Lys, we’re like, half a mile from other people, it’s fine, Leonie replied.

“To be fair, he does sound pretty loud at times,” Ig said, grabbing another chicken biscuit and dumping an entire packet of syrup on it.

I’m so ready for y’all to see our handiwork,” Claude replied, sliding on his round sunglasses.

“I took a look at it on the tapes, I can’t wait to see it in person.”

“So, did it really even matter for Manuela’s office?” Lo asked.

Claude snorted. “The confetti was pretty pointless, and there wasn’t much room for shaving cream, but the silly string, lube, and window chalk did a good bit of damage considering it was already a fucking mess.”

“Just like her love life,” Marianne quipped.

“Ohhh, BURN! Good one, Marianne,” Raphael said.

“Marianne, you don’t try to burn anyone much, but you’re always perfect with it when you do,” Hilda said encouragingly, as Marianne blushed.

“Thanks, Hilda,” she replied, twirling a strand of her hair.

After gathering all my trash, I slid on my aviators. Everyone else followed suit, dumping their trash in the plastic bag Claude provided. Hilda pulled her purple-tinted, heart-shaped sunglasses over her eyes before jumping into the back of the VW.we all had a pair of cheap sunglasses; Hilda had found a box full of them at a yard sale and felt the deal was too good to pass up. She had let everyone take a couple of pairs from it. Along with the red-framed aviators I was currently wearing, I had a pair of black cat-eyes. Lo was currently wearing a pair with rectangular lenses that had a rose design on the legs. Lysithea had on her wraparound pair, that was rose-tinted. Ig had managed to get the frames, then replace the oval lenses with the prescription he needed. Raph had chose a pair of basic wayfairs in a golden tone, and Leonie had a square pair that perfectly matched her hair color. Marianne was also wearing her wraparound pair,that started out as a pale blue in the center and faded into a pinkish-purple color the closer it got to the ends of the legs.

Everyone piled into the back of Claude’s VW, and he then backed out and drove us to school, parking in his usual spot. I could feel everyone’s anticipation for the first bell. We go into the school, then posted up close to the commons area, keeping the front door in view.

Soon enough, the first students started walking in. At first, their faces were filled with confusion. The closer they got to the commons, that confusion changed to a look of surprise and amusement. Looking down the hall, I noticed that most of the teachers that were already here had their doors wide open, instead of closed or cracked. One teacher walked out of his room, taping a slip of paper beside his door. I wanted to go read it, but I glanced back out front, and that’s when I saw Manuela on her way in. My heartbeat increased, and I waited for her to get to her office.

When she could see it, she hurriedly opened the door and walked through the student waiting room. She unlocked her door, and we heard a screech as she stepped inside, slipped, and wobbled quite a bit before finally falling on her ass. We saw her grab her desk, her hand landing in a pile of shaving cream. She pulled herself up grimacing. She took another wobbly step, one hand still on her desk to help her balance, pushing the strands of silly string out of her way. She barely made it to her chair, basically falling into it instead of sitting down, as some of the silly string fell onto her head.

“Oh my God, here comes Hanneman,” Lysithea whispered.

This is what we were all truly waiting for. I really hoped he would lose his cool. We saw his eyes widen as he realized that his office was a mess. His pace quickened as he got closer. He fumbled a bit while unlocking the door, probably because he was trying to see just how much his office had been destroyed. He ran in, slipped, and tried to get up. Unlike Manuela, he didn’t try to use his desk for support, so he was constantly slipping and sliding slightly as he made his way to the chair, pulling down all the silly string. He was grimacing, his face flushed red. He rested his face in his hands, then slowly rubbed it, as if he were trying to wash away the expression. It didn’t help, expression still there as he pounded his fist on his desk, and we heard a faint yell accompany it.

With that, we all busted out laughing, along with the other students standing in the commons. I saw one student, on their phone and oblivious to their surroundings, step into the commons and slip in a pile of shaving cream. Their expression only increased my laughter, and I restrained myself from pointing at them. All of a sudden, all of the laughter came to an abrupt halt. Principal Rhea had just walked into the commons, apparently summoned by the sound of laughter.

“Ah, shit,” Claude said, turning around quickly. “Let’s get out of here.”

We all followed him, trying to walk at a fast but casual pace.

“We WILL find out who did this,” we heard her shout. “Garreg Mach High School will NOT stand the vandalism caused by troublemakers,” she added.

Right after that, the bell rang, signaling that the classes would begin soon. We split up, exchanging a quick “see ya later”. Claude and I reached the room for our first block, holding back a giggle as we saw our teacher scrubbing at her door handle.

“So, what’s wrong with the door, Ms. Catherine?”

“Good morning too you too, Claude,” she replied. “Someone decided to pull a prank last night by breaking into the school and making a mess of things, all door handles included. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it, would you?” she asked, turning around, eyes narrowed.

“No ma’am, of course not,” he replied, eyes wide, being the picture of innocence. “Why do you think I would?”

“Hmph,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “Just curious. I know Rhea is probably going to ask us to ask you students anyway. And make sure to take your sunglasses off when the final bell rings.” We both nodded in response, and she turned away, going to stand at the door and watch the flow of students.

“Ah, definitely gonna be a senior prank to remember. For Manuela and Hanneman at the very least,” I whispered.

“Damn straight it is,” he whispered back, looking at me over the top of his sunglasses.

Other students slowly filled the room. Felix, a member of the football team and a childhood friend of Dimitri’s, gave us a pointed look when he walked in, and came straight to the seat behind me. Sylvain, another football player that usually sat behind me, walked in soon after. Seeing Felix in his spot, he scowled. Felix must have flipped him off, because he shot the bird, staring at the space behind me. The final bell rang as Sylvain sat down, and “homeroom” time started. Most people goofed off, a few read, and even fewer actually studied. It ended when announcements came on, but Ms. Cat apparently wanted to speak first today.

“Okay, quiet down, everyone. AsI’m sure you’re awasre of, someone or multiple someones snuck in last night and vandalized both Ms. Manuela’s and Mr. Hanneman’s offices,” there was some snickering at this point, but she continued, “they also got the commons area, and put something on every teacher’s door handle. Since I’m sure Principal Rhea will want me to ask, I want any of you to tell me if you know something about who did it.”

“Well,” Sylvain started, “I don’t know who did it, but if they’re in here, props to them. The window art in Hanneman’s office was on point.”

“I like what was on Manuela’s window better,” another student said.

“What did they do to the door handles?”

“I saw the commons, it was a work of art.”

“I don’t know who did it, but I’ll wager it was a senior or a group of seniors. It's getting close to graduation, so it’s prime time for senior pranks.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

“Ah, it’s Principal Rhea,” Ms. Cat said. “Someone open the door for her.”

The student closest to the door pulled it open, and Rhea walked in. Suddenly, everyone was a model student, sitting up straight and eyes focused on her.

She cleared her throat. “So, everyone is well aware that the school was vandalized last night. If any of you have any information about the perpetrators, I would appreciate it if you would speak now. If you are the perpetrator, you should come forward now.

“Well, whoever they were, they were pretty thorough with it,” Claude said.

“Claude, Byleth, do you two have anything to do with this prank?”

“No ma’am,” we replied, in unison. She narrowed her eyes a bit, but then looked away.

“I will be going around and asking all senior classes if they know who did this. I hope you all have a good day,” she said, and then left.

“Well, there you have it,” Ms. Cat said. “Now, let’s start our math lesson.”

The entire room graoned, but got out their materials anyway. The rest of the class went by smoothly, as did my second class of the day. Right after third block started, though, Vice-Principal Seteth came over the intercom.

“Would Claude Von Riegan and Byleth Eisner please report to the office? Claude Von Riegan and Byleth Eisner, please report to the office immediately.”

Well, shit. I set my stuff down beside Hilda, took the hall pass from the teacher, and started towards the office. As I reached the commons, I saw that they had managed to completely clean the floor off, and were now working on the window chalk portraits. Claude was already in the waiting area, slouched in a chair, sunglasses perched on his head. He saw me, and watched as I walked in. I sat next to him, and he slid his arm around me. After a few minutes, we got called back to see Rhea.

“So, do you two know why you’re here?”

“No ma’am,” I said, as Claude shook his head.

“You said you two had nothing to do with that prank. Are you lying to me?”

“Depends on how you define lying,” Claude replied.

“I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?”

“Reclining your body in a horizontal position,” I replied.

She slowly closed her eyes. I could see her restraining herself from facepalming. She took a deep breath in, and released it. “Get out of my office.”

“Absolutely,” I replied, hopping out of the chair, with Claude right behind me.

We practically ran to the commons, dodging students on their way to the first lunch shift. We ducked into the empty auditorium, and we were laughing before the door was fully closed. I had tears in my eyes.

“I can’t believe that pushed her over the edge,” Claude gasped, still giggling.

“I know, right? I can’t wait to tell the others.”

“Same.” He took a deep breath. “So, you wanna do something for lunch?”

"Hmmm. Sure. What ya wanna eat?" I replied, straightening myself out. One of the best things about being a senior was how we were allowed to go off campus for lunch if we wanted. This semester, I didn’t have a fourth block due to already having more than enough credits to graduate, and neither did anyone else, other than Lys, who was still only in tenth grade.

Lunch at The Canopy, anyone? I’ll pick up something sweet for you for after school, Lys.

** _Ty Claude_ **

** _Me and Lo will be there_ **

_ **okay _

**Yeah **

**Sure**

**Regular time?**

Yeah, see you then. Meet at the van. 

I’LL BE THERE

“Alright, looks like the whole gang will be there,” he said. “Poor Lys though, I know she’d love to be there.”

“Yeah,” I replied. “Let’s get her a whole six pack of those cupcakes she likes so much.”

“Sounds like a plan. See you in a few,” he said, waving as he left for his class.

I waved back, heading back to class myself. When I got back, I saw Hilda looking at me expectantly.

“I’ll tell you at lunch,” I whispered.

She rolled her eyes, but gave me a thumbs up. It was about 45 minutes until our lunch shift. Since we had third lunch, and the others had second, we would all technically be cutting class. Since it was an elective for everyone, the teachers didn’t seem to care, as long as we didn’t do it every day. I waited patiently, passing the time by doodling different designs. One of my favorites to draw was one I called the Crest of Flames. I loved it so much I planned on getting it tattooed on my forearm once I had graduated.

Once we were dismissed for lunch, Hilda and I picked up our bags and headed to the student parking lot. We met up with the others at Claude’s van, waiting on Raph to get there. I saw him hauling ass up from the football field, waving at us. Hilda waved back as Lo opened the door for her, holding it as everyone else piled in. I took shotgun, as usual, and Claude pulled out of his spot, heading towards town.

“Where to, guys?” he asked.

“Can we do Wendy’s?” Marianne asked.

“Oh, I think so too,” Lo said.

“All in favor of Wendy’s, say ‘ay’,” I said. I got a chorus of them in response, so Claude took a right and headed there.

We went to the drive through, deciding to pool together our money for a huge pile of nuggets and sauces instead of being smart with our money and doing the 4 for $4. I could practically hear the employees groan when we asked for ten of the ten-piece nuggets. As a waitress, I couldn’t blame them. I could get miffed at customers that ordered a fuckton of food, too, sometimes. It came with the territory though, so I never complained. After about ten minutes, we got our nuggets and left. We quickly got Lys some cupcakes, and then headed towards the edge of town.

When we finally got to The Canopy, we spread out most of the napkins in the center of the stump, dumping the nuggets on them. This time, I packed the bowl and took the first hit before passing it to Claude. I opened my sauce and started to eat, pausing to take another hit when it got back to me. I took a sip of my strawberry lemonade, taking my time and enjoying the flavor. Although we were in full shade, I slid on my sunglasses, hiding my eyes.

“So, how the fuck did the two of you get out of Rhea’s office so fast, and what did she say to you? How much trouble did you get in?” Hilda asked.

“None. no trouble,” I replied.

“She asked us if we were lying; I told her it depends on her definition of what lying is,” Claude said.

“Then what?” Ig asked, brow furrowing as his sauce-covered nugget slipped from between his fingers and into his lap. “Ah, man.”

“Then, she said her definition was not telling the truth, and asked what my definition was.then, Byleth said…”

“Reclining your body in a horizontal position.”

Leonie covered her mouth, sputtering, spitting out the sip of drink she had just taken. “What the fuck did she say to that?”

“Told us to leave her office after a brief second of looking murderous,” Claude replied.

“I’m honestly surprised it worked,” I added.

“Wendy’s has some of the best nuggets,” Ig said. “And this sauce is hella rad with them.”

“Honey mustard is the best,” Lo said. “I want to write a poem about how good it tastes.”

“Excuse me? Ranch is the best,” Leonie replied. “How could you say honey mustard is?”

“You’re both wrong,” Claude replied. “Barbeque is best.”

“I agree with Claude, barbeque is definitely the best,” Ig said.

“Have none of you ever tried mixing them?” I rolled my eyes. “Mixing ranch and barbeque is the best,” I added.

“That does sound good,” Marianne said, eyes wide.

“What are you talking about? They’re all equally good,” Raph said, tone incredulous. “Also, for the record, I think McD’s has the best nuggets.”

That statement elicited a groan from Hilda. “McD’s nuggets are honestly the worst. But the sweet and sour sauce they have there is actually pretty good,” Hilda replied, propping her face on one of her hands.

Lo glanced at his watch. “It’s almost three, we should probably get back to the parking lot so we can pick up Lys,” he said, beginning to gather his trash.

I drained the last bit of my strawberry lemonade, balling up the napkins I had used as a makeshift plate. We tossed our trash into the small trash can Claude had stored in the van, and we all piled in. He expertly backed out, slipping his sunglasses over his eyes as he pulled back onto the main road. He parked as close to the school as possible, dumping out his trash can into one of the already overflowing school ones. We all stood outside of the van, waiting on the last bell to ring and for Lys to appear. finally , after about ten minutes, she was there.

“Alright,” she said. “So, to Hilda’s now so we can see the video?”

“Hell yeah,” Hilda replied. Do you wanna ride with me and Lo, or someone else?” she asked.

“I’ll ride with Claude and ‘Leth,” she replied. “They promised me sweets.”

“And we have them. Don’t eat them all at once, though, because you know what time it’ll be by time we get to Hilda’s basement.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll be careful,” she replied. She hopped into the back of the van, slinging her bookbag on the floor as she spotted the bakery box. She excitedly opened it, carefully pulling out a cupcake before closing the box back. She began eating it methodically, licking off some of the excess icing before biting into it. She was already halfway done with it by time I slid into the passenger’s seat.

“Alright, let’s head out,” Claude said.

“So,” Lys started, “do y’all think Ig and Marianne will get together anytime soon? I know I can’t be the only one that see them shooting goo-goo eyes at each other when they think that no one is looking.”

“They’re both shy, it’ll be a while before one of them works up the courage,” I replied.

“Maybe we should set them up on a date,” Lys said. “And just don’t tell them who it’ll be.”

“Excellent idea,” Claude replied. “But how do you plan to execute it?”

Lys leaned into her hand, mouth stained blue from the cupcake icing. “Hmm, good question. I’ll have to speak to Hilda about it, I’m sure she’ll have an idea of what to do.”

“You may be right about that,” I replied, facing back forwards.

Claude rested his hand on my thigh, one hand on the wheel. He carefully navigated his way to Hilda’s place, pulling in right behind her. We hopped out, with Lys carefully holding her box of cupcakes. We all followed her down to her basement, arranging the cushions and chairs in a loose circle while she fiddled with the TV and the DVD player.

Lo took out her stash and a bong and readied it. Hilda grabbed the remote and took her seat next to Lo. I lit the vanilla-scented incense, watching the swirls of smoke rise towards the ceiling. After we finished passing the bong around, Hilda pressed ‘play’ on the remote. The footage started late at night, with claude and I walking into the waiting area. It showed us methodically working, messing up every inch of the offices that we could. It cut off for a second after we left the rooms, then swapped to the commons area. Entranced, we watched the commons transform from a clean, wide-open area into a field of shaving cream and confetti.

“It looks like whipped cream on camera,” Hilda said. “Ohhh, whipped cream sounds good right now…” she longingly glanced at the minifridge, then crawled over to it after a moment, splitting her attention between it and the video. She somehow actually found some whipped cream, and crawled back. She kept her eyes on the TV as she sprayed some of the whipped cream straight into her mouth, offering me the can when she was done. I ate some myself, relishing the taste as I got to see Hanneman and Manuela’s reactions again, from a new angle.

Then, the video ended, and Hilda swapped it to regular television, tugging the whipped cream from me as she did. Lys was slowing licking the icing off of a cupcake, eyeing the whipped cream. Hilda must have felt herself being watched, because she ate some more, then lightly tossed the can to Lys. grinning, Lys took the bottle and sprayed a mountain of whipped cream on the cupcake, before Claude took the can from her. She pouted some, but stopped as soon as she bit into the cupcake.

“Can I have a cupcake, Lys?” Raph asked, sad look in his eyes. Lys just nodded in reply, pushing the box towards him.

“Do you have any spray cheese?” Claude asked.

Wrinkling her nose, Hilda replied. “I’m not sure, go check the cabinet.”

He stood, tossing the whipped cream to Lo, who took a healthy-sized spray from the can. “Are you okay, Marianne?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m just too high to move,” she replied. “I want some whipped cream, too,” she added, pouting.

Lo handed the can to Ig, who told Marianne to open her mouth. He gently tilted her head back some, then squirted some in her mouth. She closed her mouth and eyes, and you could see her savoring the sweetness.

Claude sat back down, holding a can of spray cheese and a handful of slim jims. He opened one, broke it in half, and then held them together, squirting the cheese on top of them before taking a huge bite. “So, Lys,” he said, mouth half-full. “Is it true, what I’ve heard about you and Felix?”

Her face turned red. “Wh-what? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

“Judging by the look on your face, you know exactly what he’s talking about. You’ve never been a good liar, Lys,” Lo said.

“Oh yeah, I heard about that!” Raph said. “Is it true that you two actually kissed out in the courtyard?” Red in the face, she just stared at the TV, not saying anything.

“Lys and Felix sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” sang Raph, with Claude joining halfway through.

“Okay, it’s true! Now just shut up, will you?” she crossed her arms, giving the two an “if looks could kill” gaze.

“Awww, I think it’s sweet,” Leonie said.

“So do I,” Hilda said, grinning. “Honestly, as long as it’s not Sylvain, you’re good,” Hilda replied.

Lys wrinkled her nose. “Any girl that tries to date him is just kidding herself,” she said. “They all seem to think they can change him from being a playboy, but no one ever does. I think the only girl that could tame him would be Ingrid, and I doubt the two of them would ever get together.”

“Hmm, you’re right about that,” I replied, watching in disgust as Claude added some whipped cream to the top of the slim jim and spray cheese combo.

“What?” he asked, mouth full of the strange combo. “It’s actually really good,” he replied. “Still better without the whipped cream, though.”

“Well, was it a good kiss, Lys?” I asked, spraying the last of the whipped cream in my mouth. “Hey Ig, can you get me a popsicle too? A green one.” He nodded in reply, digging one out and tossing it to me before grabbing his own and sitting back down.

“Yeah, it was great, actually,” she replied, blush returning. “Too bad my parents probably wouldn’t let me see him,” she said.

“Why not? They let you hang out with us,” Marianne said.

“I just.. I don’t know. They don’t seem to like the idea of me dating anyone, really,” she said.

“Well, if you really want to go out on a date with him, we can cover for you,” Leonie said. “I usually don’t like lying to people’s parents, but I’ll make an exception for you,” she added.

“Um, well, okay,” Lys said. “Thanks, you guys. Also, Hilda, I gotta talk to you in private really quick, okay?”

“Okay,” Hilda shrugged. “Here, let’s go to my room,” she motioned.

“I wonder what that’s about,” Marianne said, stealing a slim jim from Claude.

I shrugged. “Makeup tips, maybe?” I lied. It had to be about getting Ig and Marianne on a date. Although, come to think of it, Hilda would likely give makeup and fashion tips while she was at it. I shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Marianne said, turning back to the TV and watching it sleepily.

I smiled softly as Ig scooted slightly closer to her, watching as they started whispering to each other. I leaned my head on Claude’s shoulder, half-watching the TV. Raph had just stretched out on the floor, one hand on his tummy, snoozing, while Leonie and Lo were solving a sudoku puzzle together. Everything felt right in the world right now. And hopefully, tomorrow would be just as great.

**Author's Note:**

> Crosspost from my ff.net account.


End file.
